Hi Rick,

I am the betrayed spouse. For many years my husband has intentionally kept me in the dark about the finances of his small business. He also refuses to add me onto our family’s recreational vehicles and camping trailer. His affair happened at his business and now I feel I should be added onto everything including his business accounts in order to feel safe moving forward in our marriage. He has not given me any money to help our family since D-Day. I’m paying our home bills. He claims he needs to go to therapy to figure out why he had the affair before he does anything else, but expects me to continue in our marriage still being in the dark. I feel he’s not being transparent and showing that he is still self-absorbed and protecting himself instead of showing his commitment to our family. He has agreed to go through the EMSO, but I’m feeling very ambivalent about the marriage altogether because of his lack of transparency. I’m tired of feeling anxious and insecure. He also does not spend much time at his business giving him a lot of free time during the day when I’m at work. When I call him and ask where he is he says it makes him upset that I treat him like a child. I’m very confused, but have been advised by my pastor, and counselor that I need to file for divorce. Please help.