It's been 11 months since our second D-day, when I found out my husband had an anonymous hook-up a couple months after we got married. It's been 5 1/2 years since I found out about his porn usage and online relationships. I dealt with discovering the porn by telling myself that at least he didn't sleep with someone else - not a good way, I know. But now I seem to either avoid thinking about it or get flooded with thoughts of how he was so purposeful in setting up, driving to and going through with it. He recently told me that he thought about not going into her house, but felt embarrassed not to since he told her he was coming. I'm so tired of the pain and just want a peaceful life.