Last year I had an emotional affair. I did EMSO, I worked so hard all year, books, classes, some marriage counseling, podcasts, etc. I never felt like my heart changed towards my husband, and he was amazing! Even though he was crushed, he chose forgiveness. I suffered so much over missing the AP, over not feeling like I wanted to towards my husband, and just feeling trapped in my life. Now I recently had another affair. I feel like I fell into this. I feel like I am now an addict and it was like a drug hit for me. I told my husband I will never do this again! I need to figure out what the lesson is I need to learn to avoid this. Help me please. What should I do? I feel as betrayed by myself as my husband does.