How do I communicate that if he doesn't get help that it's over? My husband and I are 18 months out from when he ended his emotional and physical affair with a co-worker, who he still works with. He was in and out of the house for six months and there were many lies, relapses and I doubted if he would ever be able to quit the affair and fall out of love with her. For clarity, when he disclosed the affair he left for the AP for 6 weeks. The last 18 months have been a bumpy road to say the least. I do believe that the affair ended 18 months ago when he said it did, but his grief for his loss was immense. It was hard for me to watch especially when I wanted nothing more than his love. I sought counseling and was doing individual work early on and I invited him to come, he only came once. I stopped due to the financial cost of therapy and my loss of hope since he refused to come.I am currently in harboring hope and it's been a Godsend and I am currently looking to get further help from a counselor. However I can't get him to get any help. He says he loves me, he says he's sorry but he's not doing anything. I begged him to do hope for healing and even EMS Online but he "doesn't want to do the group thing". He's said he would do individual counseling but he just seems to be all talk and no action. How do I tell him in a productive way, without being threatening that I can't be the only one to heal this marriage? That I can't do this alone and I need him to get help --- and he needs it for himself.