I am the betrayed spouse. I am also a survivor of sexual abuse. One reason I chose my mate was because he seemed to be sexually moral. We have been together 40 years and I’ve always kept sex as functional, with orgasm the goal because I’ve never been able to form an emotional sexual attachment. His 18 month affair has pushed me further down that path and has made me view him as just another abuser. I have a high sex drive but would love to have emotional sex for the first time in my life as I think it would help us to heal.