Q&A How Do I Stop the Comparisons, Build Confidence, and Get Better at Sex Without Feeling Like I’m Trying to Be Like the Affair Partner?

I struggle with comparisons to the sexual abilities of the affair partner. I thought the affair involved just a handful of sexual encounters over 6 months. I have come to find out it was twice a week eventually pretty much every day. He came to my house during lunch and our kids nap time while I was at work. I pieced together a particular sexual act he performed on her that I never performed that she really enjoyed. I also have come to find out I was not good at sex and kissing and that she didn't enjoy it with me. Early on I would ask if I was doing well and she would say "yes". Now, I asked if there is anything good she can say about me so I can have some confidence and build off it. All she said was I was good at lying on my back, anyone can lay on their back. This makes me feel so useless, humiliated, and emasculated. I have no confidence and extremely self conscious in the bedroom now, she says my lack of confidence is unattractive. She does say I am a very attractive guy and not lacking. I just apparently don't know how to DO sex. How do I stop the comparisons, build confidence, and get better at sex without feeling like I'm trying to be like him? If I ask what she likes, I feel like she is just telling me what he did.