Thanks so much for these Q&A opportunities, they're really helpful.

First disclosure for me was February 2015, I found out two weeks ago that the affair involved sexual encounters and then this Monday I finally got full disclosure. My husband has been living a double life for two years.

Four months of trickle truth. I kicked him out two weeks ago when I found out he'd slept with her but was committed to fixing our marriage. Since full disclosure on Monday I feel numb. I don't know what I want. My husband seems remorseful but isn't making much effort to connect with me. Mostly he just checks to see if I'm still alive every day. He's living with his parents and we have agreed access to our daughters. I don't know if he wants to fix us. From the few things he does text me he still seems wrapped up in his own world of shame and self-pity over becoming a part time dad. He's completely incapable of making decisions.

Do I just move on with my life until he decides to fight for me? We've recently sold our house but haven't bought a new one because of our situation and I'm facing having to move out and find a place to rent for me and my girls. Such a stressful time and I don't know whether I should be encouraging him to be involved with me or just move on?! I'm so uncertain of him and this marriage that I just don't know what to do for the best. In my ambivalence do I still lead our recovery??