Hi Rick, Thank you for taking the time to answer these questions; I really appreciate your help. I could use some advice on how to understand, approach and proceed from where my husband and I are in recovery. I had a 7-month affair that ended Feb. 2014. I immediately ended contact and we both have been fully dedicating ourselves to our recovery. I made a mistake in recovery by lying about significant details of the affair for 17 months, until 2 weeks ago when the truth came out with my husband's threat to leave me. I see so clearly now my role in this and have just started Hope for Healing to address my real need for recovery and for making a safe life for my family and me. In the EMS Online course we are currently taking, I am working on my life plan for safety and recovery and take this very seriously; I do not want to be a wrecking ball ever again. My husband is tired and depleted and says he will allow us one month for him to feel differently before deciding to separate in October. He says he hasn't felt loved since the affair though it seems to me we have had many times of connection over the past year. I know I have to recover. Period. But is there anything I could be doing to diminish his daily pain that might allow him to consider giving our healing more time? Any thoughts or reasons to hope would be so appreciated.