Q&A What Exactly Do I Grieve and Do I Have to Grieve Before I Can Forgive?

Here are some examples of what I have thought to grieve. I am sure they are many many more that will come to me over time and reflection. grieve the loss of the marriage I thought I had. grieve the trust I placed in my spouse grieve the life I thought was going to live, free of infidelity. grieve for the consequences that have arisen due to spouse's or partner's actions. grieve the image I had of spouse. grieve the pain knowing spouse shared herself physically with another grieve that I can longer say she is mine grieve the pain of not feeling special.....used grieve the betrayal trauma and massive pain/hurt grieve the intrusive thoughts that haunt me grieve the sexual words and pictures my wife shared that are disturbing What exactly do I grieve? Does this list makes sense? Are there other things I should be grieving that I missed? How do I grieve, what is the process of grieving? Does one grieve before they forgive?