Q&A Will I Ever Fully Understand My Mate's Pain?
To view this content please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.
Question
My husband and I completed EMS Online 9 months ago, the EMS Weekend in June, and we are currently doing Married for Life. My husband is also mentoring both a Harboring Hope and an EMS Online group. I am in week 3 of Hope for Healing. My affair happened 30 years ago, but we never healed or processed correctly until we started EMS Online in January. I feel like I am beginning to understand and empathize with the pain I caused. I have also done a lot of work on my shame. But I still mess up once in a while and do or say something that makes him feel rejected and he says it takes him back to the night I left him to have sex with the affair partner. He then reminds me that I don't get the pain he feels. This makes me feel like I have failed yet again. Will I ever fully understand and feel his pain? Will this cycle ever end?
What type of affair was it?
Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer
What to read next
Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp
Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
