Q&A How Can I Get Past the Repulsion I have Towards my Spouse?

Question

I am having great difficulty wanting to reengage physically with my husband after I found out that his emotional affairs were also physical. It has been 2 years since Dday 1 and 6 months (Dday 2) since I found out the emotional affairs were really physical. The time between his two affairs with the AP was 20 years, so I have 20 years of deception with which to deal. I also am unsure if there were any affairs in between the two over the course of the 20 years...

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Submitted by Jeepmama on 7 years 10 months

I think you need to give yourself as much time as you need before you reengage physically with your husband. He wasn't completely honest at the beginning and now you have to start over in your healing process. He needs to understand how much worse he's making the chances for restoration possible by giving you a little info at a time. He shouldn't be pressuring you. He needs to deal with the absense of sexual intimacy and be ok with it. It's a good way to break sexual addiction if that's what he has.

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