During the last several years I have heard quite a bit about the ‘battlefield of the mind.’ Generally the speaker or writer is talking about the battle to keep our minds pure and clean. Being married to a man who lives in the trenches of this battle, I can appreciate the importance as well as the difficulties involved. The world we live in is fighting against us from every side. Whether we are standing in line at the grocery store, watching TV, or on the computer, both our spouses and ourselves are surrounded by temptation. So at least in some small way, I get it. It is a daily battle.

But it occurs to me that the battle for purity is not the only one being fought. Those of us who have been betrayed by our spouse have a battle to fight as well. The enemy does not fight fair. He is quick to pounce on us the second we are wounded because he knows that this is when we are most vulnerable. As we head into recovery, we hear lies such as, “He never really loved you,” or “If you had only done (fill in the blank) this never would have happened.” The constant message of never measuring up surrounds us and only gets louder as we struggle to find hope. When I am watching TV and a Victoria Secret commercial comes on, I am told that is how real women look and act. When I am at work I may notice some coworkers flirting it up, and I am told this is how fun women behave. Along with these lies comes the implication that fun, sexy women are never hurt by their spouses and certainly never cheated on.

If we allow ourselves to listen to these lies they will begin to sound like truth, and our battle will be lost. The only way to win in this battle is to learn to discern the truth from the lies, and then to fill our minds with truth. In part two, I will share some of the ways I learned to do this.