grace, sorry, was out of town and kept losing signal or internet. after reading what you've said, if he's so happy with his ap, then at some level, i think you need to consider pulling back and simply letting him go. fact is, you can't make him want you. you can't make him pursue you. have you tried your own ambivalence towards him and tried to pull back and not pursue him? i know you want your marriage and that's admirable, but you can't want it for him and you can't make him want it and it seems as though he just doesn't want it. the bitterness could be coming from 1. shame 2. self hatred 3. anger that he's projecting on you that he has toward himself 4. unhealed pain and hurt from childhood etc.... for him to have so much anger, it's concerning and to have anger towards you, when he's been the unfaithful one, is a bit absurd on his part. but, chasing him, pursuing him, won't work. i would keep praying, and drawing near to the lord, but also pull back and not pursue him at all. if you keep pursuing him or trying to get him to do work, then he will only resent you more and you enable him and the dysfunction and you also continue to allow the pattern to continue and make him your captor so to speak. you make him the main focus and i would suggest making the lord your main focus. it may be time to pursue your own healing and your own peace and allow him to be alone or with his ap and allow God to work on you and him as he, your husband allows. i'm sorry it's not better news, but he seems to be filled with a ton of unresolved anger and bitterness.