Survivors Blog: 

Mickey

Woven into our basic makeup is the desire and need to “do life together”. By connecting with others - sharing openly, being honest, and not minimizing our struggles, we develop healthy stress coping mechanisms that enable us to get out of our own heads and keep our hearts and minds healthy.

After infidelity or addiction is revealed in a relationship, business travel can sometimes be an unavoidable trigger, especially when the one traveling was also the unfaithful. Professionals such as airline pilots, for example, cannot avoid travel as part of their job, leaving the betrayed partner behind to worry and wonder what their mate is doing on the road. If you have been unfaithful but are now committed to recovery, there are some important steps you'll need to take in order to stay safe, accountable, and connected while away from home. For addicts in particular, it is imperative to develop your travel plan before you leave for your trip, and go over your plan with others who are in recovery to double-check for any weaknesses or opportunities to act out or relapse. Building in routines such as exercise, check-ins with your recovery network,…

When you decide to face your addiction and commit to recovery, it is vital that you surround yourself with others who are in a similar position. As Mickey likes to say, "there are no lone rangers in recovery." Even if this is foreign or uncomfortable for you, being humble and asking for support from other people on the same path is going to help you stay accountable and healthy in your relationships. Connection is key, and as you work through your program, your recovery community can actually become some of your closest friendships as you grow together. Today, Mickey talks about some practical ways you can start building your network of support to help you stay sober and make progress on your path to healing.

For those recovering from infidelity or sexual addiction, establishing regular routines for self-care is key. Finding ways to eat well, exercise, connect with others, and get enough sleep is crucial for continued success in recovery. When you are healthy and balanced mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, you’re going to feel good and be more likely to stay on track in your program. One acronym that we use often at Affair Recovery is HALTBS, which stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired, bored, or stressed. When addicts find themselves in that HALTBS frame of mind, they are more likely to fall back into old unhealthy patterns or act out in negative ways. Utilizing various types of self-care routines can help you get to a healthier space, so that you can continue to show up in life as the truest, best version of yourself. Today, Mickey…

The famous mantra "Progress Not Perfection" is a well-known but sometimes misunderstood phrase when it comes to recovery from addiction. Perfectionism in recovery is not a positive thing; since no one is perfect, when you fall short of being perfect in your recovery journey, shame and discouragement enter in. This spiral of negative feelings can often make recovering addicts fall right back into their unhealthy patterns again. However, when you shift the mindset to recognizing the progress you have made, this creates a safe environment for the person in recovery to feel supported and encouraged. Encouragement is fuel for progress and leads to positive feelings, hope for the future, and development of even more healthy habits. Much like learning a new sport, a new recovery lifestyle takes time and practice to learn, improve, and make progress. Over time, you…

When first starting out on the road to recovery from an affair or sexual addiction, many people want a quick fix - a book, a video, a weekend retreat to cure them, so their lives can get back to normal as soon as possible. However, the best approach to truly heal is to view recovery as a lifelong process. For true transformation to take place, you need to examine the root causes of behaviors and thoughts, and it is vital to assemble a program to help you stay successful and sober. Putting together a process that works for you could include therapy, small groups, 12 step meetings, and ultimately, connecting with others in recovery to encourage and support you in your journey. While many think they can do this on their own, today Mickey stresses that connection and community are absolutely critical when in recovery. Your new lifestyle and community is…

The point of discovery of infidelity in a marriage is arguably the worst moment in both the unfaithful and the betrayed partner's lives. Emotions on both sides are high and often irrational, and fear and uncertainty about the future are drivers of many high-intensity interactions in the early days following disclosure. While these initial responses are natural, the unfaithful partner has an opportunity to take charge of their own response to kick-start a healthy healing process. Develop a life plan to sustain your recovery program with Hope for Healing for wayward spouses. Sign Up Now! If you are the unfaithful partner in your marriage, what does a healthy response look like? Humbly reaching out for help from pastors, therapists, small groups, or those who have walked this road before…

Today you'll hear from our newest video blogger, Mickey. Have you ever considered that there may be benefits to addiction recovery work? Maybe you're wondering 'can anything good ever come of my addiction?' Today you'll hear not only a few positives that have come out of Mickey's journey, but you'll also gain a palatable understanding of how to move through addiction into wholeness and personal restoration. In the journey of healing, it's vital that we find healing guides who have walked this way before, who can courageously share their stories of successes and failures. Today is the first in a new series by Mickey highlighting the benefits of working a recovery program. During this series, he will share his own journey of healing and restoration, as it pertains to sex addiction and saving his own marriage. With over two decades spent healing both…