First I have to wonder what happened to the beard? LOL!!

You have hit the nail on the head!! Each one of your points was spot on!! I would just like to add some points that I have discovered during this in the area of relationships and abandonment.
1) I have discovered more often than not the friends that abandon you are not actually rejecting you as the Betrayed spouse but they run in fear. If it could happen to you and your marriage then I could happen to them in their marriage. They cower in fear.

2) it has been my experience and that's not necessarily everyone's experience but it has been mine that in the church community we are not really good at getting dirty. We have a tendency to mount expectations up on Christians and when they failed to meet our expectations we allow our own disappointment to drive a wedged in the friendship. We also tend to put levels on sin. We'll tolerate gluttony,
we'll tolerate dept, we'll tolerate gossip, we'll tolerate the "little sins" and we'll even tolerate not loving others as we love ourselve which is our number one commandments from God But the big sins like murder lying cheating stealing and adultery that we can't tolerate those we tend to wash her hands of the people that have committed those bc big sends murder lying cheating stealing and adultery that we can't tolerate those we tend to wash her hands of the people that have committed "the BIG sins". It's often heard how could they do that they were a Christian. And that's how they say it "WERE A CHRISTIAN"
as if now they're not. Again is that fear. If I could happen of them, it could happen us.

3) this one is my favorite the wives that don't want their husbands hanging out with THAT GUY. Or the husbands that don't want the wives hanging out with THAT WOMAN. It is again almost as if they say LOOK OUT THAT COULD BE CATCHING!! They lack faith in their own faith.

4) And for some they just don't know what to say or what to do be use we can't talk about sex in church. Sex is dirty. Sex is to personal. Sex is just for procreation. We can't talk about sex in the church. It makes ppl to uncomfortable. Really?!? Cause it was designed by God. Maybe if it was more discussed in church there would not be so many affairs?? Samual you were preacher let me ask you a question. How many times did you preach on marital sex? How many sermons did you prepare On how to avoid the entrapment of an affair? I've been in church for 30 years I've never heard Sermon like that. Just saying.

5) I have been abandoned by friends that just can't wrap their head around my choice to stay. They say I just don't know how you do it, I could never get past all that. Or they offer the fake support of your a better woman than me. I would have tossed his cheating butt out. I don't know how you are doing it. Then there is the few that are willing to be honest. I just can't look at your husband the same. I had to end those relationships. Maybe just for a season or maybe for a lifetime idk yet. But for me I had to close that door and for my husband.

6) then there is the last one. And this is gonna sting. But I need to say it and I think someone on here needs to read it. We have to many church leaders that are caught up in affairs and pornography that are still leading. I have seen ppl in chat forums who are dealing with the fall out of their affairs and addictions that are still in the leadership positions. They are still hiding. They are playing the system. They can't address the underlying issue of the sin in the church because of their active participation. I firmly believe that the devil or the darkness or whatever you name it is seeking to kill and destroy and this is his number one weapon. If you destroy the family (church family and personal families) then he wins. The fall out from an affair in the church leaves so many walking wounded. The baby Christians leave. The seasoned Christians question their faith and all that they believe. Families fall apart. Isolation causes more damage. God never intended on us to face things alone. Our strength is in numbers. Let some person come out that they are battling an alcohol or drug addiction and the support is there. But come out and say I have a prom addiction well then your just some sort of pervert or sexual deviant. We have to push them away for the "protection" of the kids or women in the church. If the devil he can divide he can conquer. But the church is really good at shooting their wounded.

Abandonment or the feelings of abandonment have been a huge HUGE thing to overcome. For me personally it has caused me to lean more heavily on my faith bc Jesus did not abandon the hurting and he loves to use the broken. Just like he uses Rick and Samuel. God is all about redemption and using even the worst circumstances to bring glory to Him.

I will put away my soap box now.

Thank you for reading.

Thank you, Samuel, for this vlog, as I've struggled with the disappointment of friends not reaching out despite my opening myself up to them and asking them for support. I know I should give them grace but I get tired of the excuses of not knowing what to say or not wanting to say the wrong thing. After all, doesn't that just show that they are thinking of themselves and not about you? I actually had one person say that this was so out of the realm of their experience they didn't know what to do. Come on, really? Of course it is - I mean, this was so out of the realm of MY experience, too! I think one of the most helpful things I've read recently regarding what we go through in terms of rejection/abandonment was from Michele Cushatt: http://michelecushatt.com/how-to-bring-relief-to-those-who-grieve/ Also, I found this other post right on in expressing what I want:

One-day-at-a-time living is hard for me, especially during a crisis. In my fear of death, I often miss out on life, isolating myself from those who love me most. I grow consumed with my circumstances, all the what-ifs I can’t control. In the process, I miss out on what is.

But sometimes the isolation I feel isn’t my doing. Sometimes my life circumstances lead others to pull away.

I was recently asked if people treat me differently now, after such a long season of struggle, than they did right after my first diagnosis.

Yes, sometimes they do. Not always, not every day. But it happens.

If you've been through multiple hardships, perhaps you've experienced this, too. When friends and family don’t know what to do or say, they pull back, do and say nothing.

But sometimes it’s more than that. People like to believe that we're doing something to cause our suffering. Because if we're doing something to cause, say, cancer, then surely we can do something to fix it. And if we are somehow responsible for our circumstances, then that means they can avoid it.

In short, we’re scared to bump into the reality that sometimes you can do everything right, and things can still go wrong. And that suffering can’t always be fixed or cured. Instead, it must be endured. As a result, sometimes we shrink back from those who suffer—often without realizing it—as a means of self-preservation.

Pain frightens the tar out of us.

But for those who struggle and those who stand on the fringes and watch, what we need most in the moments of our greatest fear isn’t a cure or fix.

We need presence.
Someone who will sit with us and say,

My friend, there is no judgment and no shame.
You do not need to carry this alone.
This is just hard, messy, & ugly.
And I'm sorry.

This was so helpful. Everything you said is true. The isolation, the loss of friends, the disconnect from family and long standing relationships. If i had not the Lord to turn to, I do not know what I would do to deal with the pain and loneliness
. regina