i get it. i do. i knew there would be some push back, and in a mere ten minute vlog it's hard to share the totality so many different possible outcomes, situations, and strategies. my apologies if it seems a bit oversimplified or not severe enough. but let me expand a bit. to some, the fact is they are ambivalent about saving their marriage. they aren't repentant at all, or they may be putting on a face they are, but in reality, deep down inside, they are not. they are angry, resentful, confused and not sure they even want to be married to you, regardless of what they are saying to you. many, more than you would think, MANY unfaithful are not able to decide early on and you'll need a plan for that. you'll need to meet them in the middle if you want to provide an opportunity to do work. this is not every couple, but it is one of the most painful situations to be. some are not able to take the 'me or them' step early on. this is a great way to meet in the middle and provide a landing area for the couple to do some work and at the very least, put the affair on hold and get the spouse to commit to doing work, without having to commit to the marriage as that scares the hell out of them and they many times won't do that. i do agree, there are times where you have to say, it's either them or me and you need to decide as you've been ambivalent for months, etc. there comes a time where there is no more 30-60 day window. that the time to decide and give it a shot or be done is now. but that's not every situation at all. and, for some betrayed spouses, to say 'me or them' and then if not, divorce, scares the daylight out of them and they are not ready for that. it's just the truth as i talk to them and hear them say that more times than you can count. some situations just require more strategy than others. i'm sorry i frustrated you, but i hope this provides some perspective for you.