Samuel thank you so much for all the effort you put into doing all your blogs and for also putting your pride aside and just be real and honest. This topic you bring up here is big real big. It is one of the aeras I feel brings about many justifications to cheat in the first place. I know in my case looking back now I had just never done a real good job communicating my love for my wife and at the same time she was either unable to are unable to make her true feelings known to me. So after infidility it is even a much bigger problem. I was able on to realise that many of our problems before my wife's affairs were do to our not understanding each other. It is still such a challanges to be able to share feelings with her and know we both understand what I am trying to share. It can get very frustrating at times but it is just not her it is me also we think differently we look at things differently. I have to slow down and say things differently or try differently to see if it helps. My wife also over reacts at times because she thinks I am getting mad because I tend to speak more mechanically and bring the volume up a little, which I am not I just know with her ADD that she can loose focuse and buy becoming more direct I try to retain her focuse but these are the kind of things that can lead to problems until both parties can truly understand that it is not easy sometimes to communicate in a way that tge other will understant just what the other is thinking or saying. I have to be very patient and in many cases thr frustration is not with her but my frustration of knowing how to share what I am feeling. Like trying to explain the depth of my love for her and her being able to understand. Or trying to deal with the fact that it"s so hard to love her and have security of that love when you know you are unable to trigger that chemical reaction in her for you like she had for her AP's. Now that is a tough thing to communicate, try doing a blog on that. Limerance how it is so hard to rebuild love with your mate after they have experienced with others it was so real to them it is tough it takes time it takes patients and you had better gotten better at communicating.
David