Thank you Samuel...this is so true. We are facing it right now. I rarely approach my spouse to share in detail why I'm feeling down, fearful, or angry in this process of healing...because he becomes manipulative with his shame stonewalling, and even reacts more angrily with our children. I believe the me monster is the fruit of an unhealthy desire for affirmation...from anyone. My husband was like this when we first dated, and it was a red flag, but I passed it by. He looked for affirmation everywhere. Work, women and even from strangers. This behavior and need led to fishing for compliments, then flirting...we have but a huge stumbling block in healing almost three years from the first d day due to his lack of empathy or response when I seek to process with him. We lack time to do EMS, and I'm seeking counsel now as I cannot safely share with him. Sending this video to him today..praying it will spark something in his heart. Thanks again...