Thank you Samuel, for this post. You have described me to a T. My mind has been in a crazy place for 4 years now and we have both been doing recovery work through AR, private individual counseling, and I am in Celebrate Recovery for my unforgiveness and copendency issues. He( the unfaithful) is doing fine and appears fully recovered. Nothing bothers him except if I ask an occasional affair question. I, on the other hand, am still almost consumed by the affairs he had...I think mostly because he trickled truthed the details for 3 and a half of the 4 years and basically lied his way through EMS and private sessions with Rick. My most recent dday was this past April. My first dday was Christmas Day 2012. (So I have an anti-versary coming up.) Since discovery, all I want to do is be alone on the holidays, especially Christmas Day. He does nothing to help me through it, just thinks I should be over it by now. He will go to our farm and to his parents for Christmas. I can't go there because he took his AP there. It's a big trigger for me. I will spend my third Christmas alone at home. I know it's me and my thoughts that's the problem. I may be one of those people who are simply unable to recover from trauma like this. I'm beginning to worry that I am.
Thanks for the suggestions to get through the Armageddon in my mind!! I will keep trying and use the suggestions you have given. I hope you and your family have a blessed Christmas.

Samuel ,

The use of /or phrase "La la land" kinda indicates that the flooded person (almost always the hurt party) is mentally unstable. Well..... who put this traumatic burden of pain and trauma into their life. I'm not positive, but to say that a person is in " la la land " is adding salt to an open wound. The flooding is normal and completely expected. The hurt person is not crazy or at fault for the effects of a traumatic injury.