Thank you Samuel and AR Group, another excellent 'on the point' video that gives words and actions to my feelings as the BS. 3 1/2 years out. This has, is and continues to block our healing going forward. I don't feel safe, UH is in denial about a former EA that took place before the physical affair. He won't hold the possibility he may have a problem with 'lying by omission,' it's our largest hurdle. The longer he holds onto the denial the less chance we have at repairing this marriage. It keeps me from committing 100% to repairing and staying in the union. The old marriage is over, dead and buried. I need to see progress in taking down this 'denial wall' that keeps me on the outside. Until I see more transparency and remorse, I will never feel safe. I don't know how to convey this to him, I will ask he watch this video but I feel with everything in my soul, he will defend and deny once again his actions. He continues to dig in his heels on this incident and our marriage is at a standstill--I'm frozen, feeling very unsafe. I also agree with your point regarding betrayed spouses and their reluctance in 'owning' fault or mistakes in the marriage. I don't want to fuel his arrogance and entitlement on an already painful and devastating act of betrayal.