My wife has separated from me to allow time to work on herself during sobriety and to understand what the affair meant to her and what she wants from our marriage. I am working on me while taking care of my boys. I feel my wife is having a midlife crisis and has simply lost who she is in life. In addition to alcoholism, my wife is also going through menopause. She has changed into a different person seemingly overnight and I am at a loss of how to move forward. How can a loving wife and Mom simply remove herself from the family and distance herself from her children? I am focusing on me and my growth and healing. I know I can’t help her or “fix her.” How do I know what she says is truly how she feels? How do I keep being patient with her when she isn’t doing anything for her own self growth and healing? I am tired of doing all the work, taking care of my family, and trying to put myself back together after she destroyed our lives. How do I wait for the unfaithful when they are lost, in mid-life crisis, and they don’t seem to be making any progress towards healing much less reconciliation? She is still simply distance and cold 9 months after D-Day.