Q&A How do I Deal With Anger and Lack of Trust After the Affair Has Ended?

Dear Rick,

My husband and I stayed together during his two year long affair, except for a four month period when I left home to take care of myself. We attended EMS weekend and were an active part of our aftercare program. I returned home after that separation a little over a year ago and we are doing extremely well. My husband says he has no contact with the AP and he is very happy, and has a renewed love for me and our relationship. He says he feels more in love with me than ever and desires me greatly. I am amazed and delighted that we have come so far.

I rarely talk about the affair but still have pent up anger and lack of trust. I want to believe him and try to stay positive because we are doing so well. I don’t want to focus on the negative, yet the anger and trust issues surface and I mostly deal with them alone. I still think about the affair and his AP every day, and wonder if it’s just a matter of time before it happens again. He has love and sex addiction issues, and I do believe he loves me deeply and never wants to lose me. However, before this happened I could not even imagine him being unfaithful to me and the thought of him relapsing frightens me greatly.