Q&A How Do I Express My Pain in a Safe Way?

I'm the betrayed. D-Day was almost 3 months ago. I have always considered myself a very emotionally intelligent woman and have always been an empathetic "people pleaser". I often play referee in my household and if you asked me what I like to do, it would be hard to answer because I often do what the family likes to do in order to "self fulfill" my love language, which is quality time and make them happy. After disclosure I was very emotional and my husband would often become very disturbed by my uncontrolled emotions, constant crying, etc, since before disclosure I would usually be able to stay calm for him when he was stressed. Lately I have found myself pushing down my pain to save him from it because I feel he cannot handle it. I am trying hard not to transfer my pain but in the process I almost feel like I am hiding it completely, and I fear I may be starting to suffer from "pretend normal" for the sake of his feelings. Should I be working this hard to save him from seeing my pain since it overwhelms him so much? How do I show my pain to him in a safe way so he can understand but doesn't transfer pain or overwhelm him? Does he just need to see it, overwhelming or not?