Q&A How Do I Handle the Betrayal by My Mate’s College Aged Daughter?

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Question: 

She knew of the affair, socialized with them, and would ask to spend time with him and his affair partner. This went on for 3 years. His daughter lives with her mother and has a difficult relationship with her father so I always encouraged him to spend one-on-one time with his daughter and this was one of the ways he deceived me. My mate disclosed his betrayal to me on Mother’s Day weekend and the baby is now 2 months old. The daughter told the affair partner about my pregnancy and maintains a relationship with her. I didn’t learn any of this until a few weeks ago. The daughter now reaches out to me to see the baby. I have no problem making arrangements with their grandma but don’t want to see her. His daughter is not safe and I need to set boundaries. My mate thinks I am wrong. How to I get him to understand that the consequence of involving his daughter means that I don’t want a relationship with her, that her actions hurt me, and that she needs to take responsibility and atone for her part?

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas