We attended EMS weekend and it went horribly. He had a lot of resentment toward me that surfaced during Beyond EMS and I couldn't handle it so we dropped out. He says he still loves me and wants to repair the marriage, he is very reluctant to do counseling. I'm sure if I forced him, he would, but that alarms me. I would hope that he would want to get help for himself. I asked some questions about the affair that I never asked before and he's reluctant to share the answers because he thinks it will do more harm than good. I know he still has feelings for the affair partner and he is definitely not at the "whatever it takes" because I have asked him to do some things that would reassure me and make me feel secure in our marriage, but he wouldn't do them because it made him "uncomfortable". I have forgiven him, I'm hurting, but I've forgiven him. At this point, I don't have a lot of hope, but how do I not feel so guilty about ending the marriage? I feel as if people will be disappointed in me.