Q&A How Do You Handle Doubt?

My husband and I have been married 25 years. We are 10 months from partial disclosure. We have done a 10 week bootcamp class and 13 week EMT class through our church. Just 11 weeks ago I heard the full disclosure of 20 years worth of damaging behavior to our marriage. I’m not sure who I really married. How could someone lie and manipulate that long and get away with it? I guess God had enough and 10 months ago he got caught from being in a 2 yr affair. He really dug deep and poured his heart out in Ems. He cried in so many classes. He owns up to all his actions and has a ton of empathy for me. Hes agreed to letting me see his text, phone calls, and a phone tracker. He’s been willing to make this work but i'm dealing with a ton of doubt. He lived a double life for so long and many affairs. I just don’t know he will be consistent. Right now i'm just watching his actions and trusting God to show me what to do. The tormenting thoughts are horrible. I can’t go thru life like this. I obviously want it to work out with us. At this point I could live with or without him due to the amount of damage he's done to me and our family.