Rick, Would you recommend waiting to start couples counseling until after the EMS Online course? My wife (the unfaithful spouse) is currently seeing an individual therapist and we have a time set up to see a set of therapists (a female therapist who meets with the wife individually and a male therapist who meets with the husband individually, before all four meeting together). My wife has had a couple sessions with her individual therapist and, when I asked how it was going, my wife said (somewhat sarcastically) "Great. She agrees with everything I say." Although my wife is remorseful, she has a list of grievances as to my behavior (not enough attention, sex, quality time, etc.) and has, at times, seemed quite focused on these points. I am fearful that, as you note in one of your other Q&A answers, the couples counselor(s) will reinforce the idea that the root cause of the affair was my lack of attention to my wife, and that this will prevent my wife from ever "getting it" and using this event as a catalyst for change in both her own life and in our marriage. I am more than willing to look at and work on my part in the marriage, but at the appropriate time.