Hi Rick, You answered one of my questions last week and titled answer "How do I feel safe when is my Mate's Affair was with their Ex?". In response to your questions/statements. Yes, his has joined a SAA group and they meet once a week. He joined after we completed EMSO. He felt doing EMSO and SAA at same time would be too much. I do admit I am seeing him stressed just doing the SAA and Married for Life. The time constraints are rough for him, but he is dealing with it. We have been together 12 years, and married 9. He and his son had moved to be with me after we married. Then in 2011 he wanted us to return to his home state so he could be near is boys and his grandchildren. With hesitation I agreed to move. Within about 6 months he was communicating with is EX on a regular basis and ultimately by June 2012 they were sleeping together. I feel as though we moved not for reasons indicated but so he could be closer to his EX. He swears that is not the case. He says he was board and lonely because I worked 2nd shift, and he 1st shift. We have since moved back to where I was living prior and boundaries have been established; they have no contact to my understanding. I just really struggle with the fact that 6yrs after we were married he had an affair with her. Did he ever really end the relationship? Were they in communication the whole time he lived 500+ miles away? He swears that it will never happen again and he is taking steps to assure we are safe. I just can't wrap my head around why his ex.?