Hi Rick
My husband and I were at the Sept EMS weekend. About a week later, he decided he needed some time to spend alone with God to work on him. He got his own place and has kept contact to a minimum. We text scriptures, thoughts, prayers, etc and occasionally talk on the phone. The distance is excruciatingly painful on the heels of his betrayal. I desperately hope and pray he is honestly perusing God. I'm trying with everything I have to patiently wait. I believe God is at work. I trust God, I do not trust my husband. Our circumstances don't make sense to anyone. I'm learning how to not care about what others think and depend on God. How do I protect my heart from bitterness during this time? Am I off my rocker to believe he could actually be perusing God? I know it's possible he's feeding me hope while still "playing" games. I choose to believe the best. How do I handle the emotions of all this now by myself? If the infedelity has continued, what do I do next? I am holding so tight to the hope that one day our story will be a testimony to others. That one day we will be grateful for the journey because of where it brought us.

My spouse and I are both recovering sex addicts. I just found out he relapsed and has been acting out the past year via sexting and pornography, with a couple in person sexual encounters. Can you explain what an addict is addicted to in the absence of the normal feel good rush of sexually acting out. He has always described himself as blacked out, numb, checked out and not present. Especially in person. No sexual high or rush, no feel good sexual impulses. My own addiction is an addiction to the feel good feelings. What is he addicted to then, the disassociation state itself? He says it's like feeling that he doesn't exist. The only time he says he ever gets a sexual high feeling is maybe for an instant when he sends or receives a sexual text or seeings porn. But it's just an instant and it's not every time. Again, what is he addicted to then? What does this mean, he keeps repeating the pattern?

My spouse is a sex addict and when he acts out he says it triggers his fantasy, which he says is not the same as fantasizing about a woman or picturing himself having sex or acting out. Can you explain fantasy? He says he doesn't picture anything during "fantasy". He's blank. Nothing. What's is that? Why?

As a recovering love addict I relate to being addicted to actual fantasizing. Pictures in my head.