Wow, Lyn, you get it! It is crappy and unfair. Stop the blow ups and start the clean up and it is in my court now.... as unfair as it seems and feels, to clean up and work on fixing something that you did not break, there really is no other way apart from walking away. Thankyou, this helped me immensely today.

This was so very very good. Thank you. I can hardly wait for the next blog. I am SO VERY THANKFUL for you. It helps me SO much to hear from another woman that has been in my shoes.

Thank you for your perspective. I am 3 years out from DDay 1, 18 months out from dday2 in which the REAL truth was revealed, and 9 months from the last significant disclosure. I still have blow-ups and even after all this time, having trouble accepting that
This nightmare really happened. My husband had a 20 year on and off affair with the same woman from his work. A friend. Even after all the courses, individual therapy, and signs of my husband finally " getting it" and wanting the marriage, I feel worthless knowing that I, in my husbands eyes, was not worthy of faithfulness nor the truth when I begged him for it 3 years ago. We have been married almost 38 years and I can honestly say I do not know this man. I am angry that 20 years of my marriage and life are now impure and a big lie. How does one keep the blow ups from happening after all this? I so admire you for your candor and good advice. Maybe I just have much more grieving to do before I can stop the pain and hence the blow ups. Thank you for a good post.