Finding Joy During the Holidays

Submitted by Melissa Thu, 12/14/2023 - 00:00

Finding Joy in the Holidays - Alumna Blog by Melissa Fisher

Don’t just survive the holidays; use them as a catalyst for hope, healing, and flourishing in new life by finding the Joy in them. The holidays are one of the many difficult times an individual faces when healing from infidelity and our Alumna, Melissa speaks directly to this challenge while giving your practical and real guidance, tips, and encouragement in navigating the holidays.

Hear directly from Melissa who has been where you are, experienced what you have experienced, and has taken the journey of recovery and wants to lift you up so you know you are strong and you can do this. She shares the ways to help you find the Joy in the Holidays.

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Thank you Melissa, great

Submitted by Marc D on

Thank you Melissa, great words, feeling & encourament. I'm in some of that mess right now but not only me.

Thanks for the encouragement...

Submitted by Melissa_AR on

Marc,

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words.  I hope the video along with this simple message continues to fuel you out of the mess and into a place that begins to be filled with more hope and joy each day.  While I don't know the details of your situation, I know there's more for you ahead and pray that as you head into the new year, you see more light each day.  

Cheering you on in prayer,

Melissa

Holidays

Submitted by BHPG on

I found your words and idea of using a thought audit is something I needed to hear. It is so easy for me to slip into the victimhood of black and white thinking and being unaware of all the things that are good in my life. It is much easier to just focus on the things that went wrong. I feel a thought audit is a tool I will use going forward. Thank you for this!

Thank you for you encouraging words

Submitted by Melissa_AR on

BHPG,

Thank you so much for the encouraging words you sent and for sharing how the thought audit idea helped.  I know when my therapist first introduced me to the concept, it really helped and is a practice I still use today.  I hope that your holidays were filled with surprising moments of joy despite the hard season you are in.  Praying for more moments of light for you in 2024!

Blessings,

Melissa

Gratitude

Submitted by jamhurting on

Oh my goodness, this is one of the most helpful videos I've watched on AR. A FEMALE that has been through it--is going through it. You offer so much hope and your empathy shines through. I was just weeping the whole time--thank you so much for understanding the trauma, while still empowering us--helping us to try to recall who we really are. I was just saying to myself (yes, to myself) how this trauma is all I can think about--ruminating 24/7, even in my sleep. So, thank you for reminding me that there is this whole world out there. That suffering is a part of life and a part of the human experience--I am not alone. That I am not completely helpless, although I feel that way many days--5 months out from D day. Again, thank you so much for sharing your heart, being vulnerable, and helping to comfort and empower us through these trying days. ~ Julie

Thank you for sharing...

Submitted by Melissa_AR on

Julie,

I just wanted to take a second to say thank you for your kind words.  Putting ourselves out there as women isn't easy and its encouraging words like yours that makes it worth it.  I hope you had moments of joy through the holiday season so far.  I know the trail you are walking on isn't easy, but praying you feel more hope each day as you head into 2024.  

Cheering you on with prayers,

Melissa

 

Thank you

Submitted by Radishgirl on

I liked this video and the idea of a thought audit. I'm at the point where I want to start choosing to be hopeful 8 months from DD1 and 3 months from the last DD. Im the betrayed but your account really helped me gain some empathy for my wayward partner and how hard it must be for him right now and it helped to be reminded we are going through this together and your obvious remorse made me see how sincerely he is working to walk through this pain with me while trying not to beat himself up with toxic shame. What a difficult tight rope to walk! Thank you so much for sharing and i hope you find some comfort and light this holiday season.

Thank you for your encouraging words

Submitted by Melissa_AR on

Radishgirl,

Just wanted to take a moment to say thank you for your encouraging words and sharing a bit of your story with me.  I can only imagine the journey you've bee on and hope that the past few days have been filled with more moments of joy than you thought possible.  I pray that you and your husband continue to move forward in hope in 2024 and its filled with more healing and purpose than you are able to imagine.  

Cheering you on in prayer,

Melissa

During the holidays

Submitted by trashman9395 on

My UW betrayed me during the holidays, my father died just before thanksgiving, and then one year to the day she betrayed me December 5th 2023. how exactly do I get through that?

Betrayed during the holidays

Submitted by trashman9395 on

My unfaithful wife betrayed me December 5 2023 just one year to the day after I bought her this house on December 5th 2022... My father passed away just before Thanksgiving and she chose him, a "man" she had just met over me. How do I deal with the double whammy?

Grieving is Hard

Submitted by Melissa_AR on

Dearest trashman9395, 

I am so sorry to hear about your losses, especially the timing of it all.  I can only imagine the pain and anguish you have been experiencing since then.  Dealing with multiple losses like that is hard.  The first thing that comes to mind as you ask how to deal with it is that you can't do it alone.  Safe community that gets the pain of betrayal and loss is what has helped me through my own recovery.  If you don't have this currently in your life, I would recommend findhing a good therapist to start with, a recovery community at church, and/or taking on of the AR courses.  There are scholarships available if money is an issue.  You can reach out to support@hope-now for more info on any of those.  Please don't give up hope.  Healing can happen and joy can return.  

Praying for you,

M

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