Thanks for another great video. I as a betrayed spouse, still struggle greatly with bouts of anger. It has been 14 months since our final d-day. There were multiple infidelities over a decade. I am loving the progress we have made together and the work my husband is doing on himself is promising and reassuring. Unfortunately, I still struggle with feelings of anger, resentment and sadness. I truly am heartbroken over all of this. Honestly I feel like an anchor of negativity dragging us down. I am wondering did it take your wife years to see you as a man with honor that she could respect and feel truly safe with. Is she able to look back at the past and see happiness even though infidelity was present. The sadness and anger are trigggered very easily when I think about our past

Samuel, Videos such as this one led me to Affair Recovery, I am presently in Bootcamp, but also listening to your teachings. It is how I begin my day and end my day, thank you for yours and Samantha's lifeline. I am so hungry for each session, but am spending an incredible amount of time trying to copy down each one. There probably isn't any way to make it easier? I was wondering if you would someday consider writing a book with all of your wisdom. You are able to condense your teachings, no frills, which is why I don't want to miss a single sentence. You and Samantha are the best thing that has happened to me in a long, long time, so thank you again!

I have gone back and forth on if I should post this, the forth won. Lol.
First let me say your blogs are often the life line that keeps me sane and give me hope. Thank you for the work you do.

I have struggled with all the anger, well out right RAGE I have felt. I did not even know I could feel those things to the extent I have. And I think my healing process was slowed because of all the pent up anger. I joined with a group of ladies and we have been working on some things and I was taught this exercise that has propelled me forward. It has given me a safe way to dissipate all anger. I am going to write it out in steps. But the very first steps is go to the kids department of Walmart or target or where ever like that and buy yourself a plastic bat. The ones from Walmart are marketed for toddlers. They have a nice foam cover come with a little foam ball and cost about 4 bucks.
Sit down and for 5-10 minutes write out a letter about something you are pissed off about. Ex. Dear hubby, when you were having your affair and you lied to me about having to work and I attended your family BBQ alone with the kids while you were with her it really pissed me off. It was your family function. I was there making excuses for your lack of attendance. Blhahahaha.

Take your letter go to a mirror in your home and read it. Out loud and feel the anger.

Take your bat and use it on a soft object that you won't break (I use my bed) and swing it while saying I did not deserve that treatment. I am angry because ...... then best it out until you are tired.

I usually pick one thing and beat it out until I can remember that event and no longer feel the anger of the injustice that was portrayed against me.

For somethings it has taken many sessions with the bat.

The theory is you retain that anger until you physically release it.

You tell the story of Samantha and the doll house. And I can appreciate that she just needed that one and done. Apparently I am a very angry person cause I have needed to break down the situation and I do bat work weekly still. But only when I am home alone. I don't wanna freak out the kids.

I hope this helps someone else. I take no credit for the information. But healing is hard and it is harder when you don't know a release for the anger.

Thank you and continue what you do.