Thank you again for sharing! I have waited every week for over two years to read your blogs and Rick's articles. I am never disappointed. I am happy for you and your family that through your failures you have found a way to help others. Thank you.

Thank you so much for your wisdom. I'm at a point where I recognize how much I want to forgive, but I still struggle and part of my struggle is my unfaithful spouse's reactions to my flooding in response to triggers. Your sound advice will help him and me both.

This was a great video! Thank you for the light-hearted take and for sharing your perspective. Can I have a copy of the time-out protocol you mentioned? My husband and I are struggling in this area and could use that guidance. Thank you so much!

Thank you for this video...it validates so much of what I have felt for way too many YEARS!!!

Thank you for this, I am 8 months into discovery, but he still stayed in contact with her up until 3 months ago. My therapist says I should be over it by now, I can't, everyday I get reminders, and many of these reminders relate to how he saw me during his A - the supposed person I was for him to feel this way, the lack of meeting his needs- then something reminds me of these comments and it makes me question what he meant. For instance - he has told me it was the physical contact with her that he was not getting from me, and I saw another couple doing something that I used to always do until he started to cringe when I would do it- so I stopped, all it was, I would rub his shoulders and neck most times, then one night, about 12 months ago, I was rubbing his shoulders after he came home from work, and he quickly got up from his chair and walked away. Little did I know at the time the affair was already taking place, to me this was him rejecting me, I was wrong for not speaking up, but most times when I used to speak up about his reactions to my affection he would argue with me. How do I respond to his way of thinking when I see things differently, and even now his behaviour is very much the way it was before I found out, which leaves me to believe there is either still contact, or he really believes he loves her, and has been hurt by her too (she played a major part in him losing his job 4 months after the affair was discovered- she had lost her job, but was rehired after he was fired) I was by his side everyday helping him to overcome his dismissal from work, helping him to fight his dismissal, only to find out after he told me he didn't want to fight it no more that he was still in contact with her - even knowing she was rehired by the company.
I really don't know whether to keep fighting or give up? So much I have read, conversations I have had, websites, support forums etc, all give me a will to keep trying to work shit out, but that's it, it's me doing all the reading, talking, he comes to counselling every now and then, and only did this after being fired from his job, he says he wants to work on fixing us, but I can't see any changes - he is still behaving much the same way before his affair

In 3 days we will be at the 1 year mark from discovery. I still struggle every day and still do not trust my wife. I don't believe she has told me the whole truth or potentially ever will. She unfortunately is in a situation that she still has to work with her AP (on a limited basis) and has to encounter his spouse, who is oddly friendly and wants to be friends (suspicious). The reminders are real and the fact that she has never revealed anything (I have had to search out the info) continues to make me wonder what else is out there. But I have hope even through the reminders, triggers, and half-truths. Because my hope is not in my wife or my marriage. My hope is in Him that restores us all regardless of our shortcomings. I pray, regardless of the situation, that your hope can be in the same One that has given us the greatest reward.