im so sorry my friend.  i know it's awful pain and incredibly tough to walk out.  all you can do is take care of and be good to you.  if he's going to leave, it's vital you protect yourself emotionally and legally to be honest.  you have assets and rights etc that i'd really get legal counsel on.  it's going to be a process of letting go.  perhaps working through it with a divorce care group would be good?  maybe a professional that's an expert on divorce etc.  he seems lost in his own trauma and pain trying to find healing outside of himself and another woman isn't the answer or happiness he so desperately wants.  it's him, not you. 

you need outside, expert help.  he won't be able to find home or healing or what do do without that level of expert help i talk about in these videos.  will he do a weekend....an online course....see a professional who is qualified to help?  you may also consider pulling back and not pursuing him.....leaving room for him to move towards you.  maybe these videos will help on ambivalence:  https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/what-do-you-do-when-your-spouse-ambivalent   https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/changing-dance-ambivalence  https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/when-betrayed-spouses-are-perceived-needy-or-codependent  also, here is another piece on it:   https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/after-infidelity-paralysis-of-ambivalence-part-one  very sorry for the delay in answering 

hi there.  for starters, you don't need them to acknowedge it or them for you to forgive them and to let go of your resentment.  it's vital you do this work on your own with your own therapist or support group or strategy.  then i would find a medium like a course or counseling to help your spouse be open to listening to objective help and work through it conversationally.  if you can't get help, then perhaps going through a book or two together and allowing it to foster conversations for you both to then talk about hurts and wounds in a safe way.  it's tough without a mediator and without expert help.  this book is a good option though:  https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0553447718/ref=asc_df_0553447718/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312674999652&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14032922899420167723&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9028284&hvtargid=aud-801381245258:pla-434109122391&psc=1

so appreciate the kind words and encouragement.  you just never know what people are facing sometimes and it does my heart so good to read messages like that. thank you for sharing my friend.  means more than i can say.