Thank you for these videos.

I have never felt consistently safe in this post afffair and often felt relational distres I now understand due to the polka dance in our communication throughout the marriage.

There was a lot of love and kindness (pre affair) and a huge issue with the very thing I now know to be the polka dance and find the bad guy.

What if you tell your spouse that you started to feel safer and you are afraid because of it and tell them your fears and they get frustrated and pull away and tell you they will never be enough? If they keep leaving and are defensive in those moments. If they have issues with you and ptsd from your part in the polka dance in the marriage without seeing their withdrwl side for the ptsd that it gave you, and tell you they will not tollerate it? That recovery will not look like what you need because of what you did to them in the marriage pre affair? What do you do then?

Thank you again for all your work and lessons.

(We have done EMS and marital couseling)