Stay Away from These False Comfort Zones

Submitted by Samuel Thu, 12/07/2017 - 09:59

Samuel discusses what we use to comfort us in our pain and shame, may not always be helpful.

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Can you be more specific

Submitted by lovemyfamily on

I've been watching your videos since I discovered this site....maybe a day or 2 after dday, January 5, 2017. I watched dozens upon dozens and in so many you say "if you are early on in recovery" or something similar. Sometimes I have heard you actually specify a time frame such as in this video. You mentioned 2 years out! When I hear "early on" I am thinking more of 6 months or a year.

I am the betrayed and watch your videos to try to understand my husbands 9 month affair. When you mentioned in this video about comfort blankets, etc. and will you ever be able to serve in ways you had in the past. KNow that You ARE! Even though my husband has done nothing to heal himself or help me to heal, which I feel like if would, I would be healing more effectively and maybe faster.

My question is that can you start using more specific timelines? I understand its all different, but when you refer to "early on" I am wondering is that 6 days, 6 months, a year, more? From your own perspective and experience if you would use a more specific time frame I think would help.

Please keep doing what you are doing. You are serving so many in so many ways. THANK YOU....

hi there. thank you for the feedback.

Submitted by Samuel on

i always love positive feedback, so thank you for taking time to share with me and comment.  i'll certainly work on that.  sometimes i say 'early on' in recovery as a simple fleece as i'm saying something that some could take the wrong way and run with it and use it against their spouse.  so i want to make sure i throw out some sort of fleece to prevent that from happening.  also, everyone heals at a different speed.  there are trends and there are accurate expectations, but then again, some are doing well at some things early on that is a huge surprise but they may also be stuck on something that they should have already been down the road on.  so it's tough, as every situations is different and every spouse is unique but i will heed your advice and certainly try and narrow down timeline times and quotes in the videos.  

thank you also for such kind and gracious encouragment.  means a ton to hear that.  i had dinner with a couple the other night that encouraged me so much and gave me so much hope about doing these things.  thank you again.

 

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas