Spot on Samuel... thank you. Three years out, started with marital counseling, and counseling for myself, the betrayed. My UH couldn't get into individual counseling for two months. I felt so lonely trying to deal with the betrayal yet trying to hold the marriage together. As you stated my world was in chaos! I was in counseling, the marriage was in counseling but my UH is on cruise control. Very hard to endure even during that short period of time. You absolutely need all three to be in counseling at the same time. My question to you is I am still in counseling, we just participated in the last EMS weekend, our first phone group session is this evening. We are still trying to find a new marriage counselor and my UH only goes to his individual counselor on a PRN (as needed) basis. Thus far in 2018 he has been to see his counselor maybe 3 times. I am starting to feel very resentful that he is not doing more in individual counseling and he is not working at finding a marriage counselor for us. I found all our past counselors and have backed off. I listened to your videos about taking care of my business, trying to stay on my side of the street. I just don't know how or what I should do at this point in time. Wait until we finish our group workshops to see how this will all play out? Continue to stay on my side of the street? I need, we need the balance but he doesn't see it that way. Do you have any thoughts on this? Thank you for your words of wisdom. Ruth

Hi Samuel. My husband and I have watched almost all of your vlogs; in fact, it was your videos on Youtube that my husband stumbled upon right after I discovered his affairs. Your videos have become a kind of guide to him and I appreciate the way that you connect with those of us affected by affairs, especially the unfaithful who need guidance. This might be a long shot, but I've been searching through the content of your blogs and the content on AR and haven't really found anything that gives advice on how to fight or get rid of or control the nightmares that many betrayed spouses seem to face. They are relentless. I do my best and am pretty successful with fighting through triggers and the floods of emotion day to day, but most nights I literally feel attacked by my own imagination and by these nightmares. Has Samantha found, or has anyone you know found a way to deal with or lessen or even eliminate the nightmares? I've always had dreams and even nightmares in the past, but the ones I have in regards to my husband's affairs are the worst. :( I know you're super busy, so if you can't respond, no worries. Thanks again for sharing such great thoughts and guidance through AR.

Thank you Samuel for this blog, it was very helpful, my unfaithful listened to it first then sent it to me. I have to tell you, never stop making these videos, I listen nearly every day and night. They are what keeps me going and gives me hope. I learned of all this horrible stuff January 3rd of this year. It has been horrific, I think I am still in the disbelief stage, can’t seem to wrap my brain around it. I appreciate your openness and honesty, not being fearful of disclosing your story. Would you thank your wife for being ok with what you are doing thru your blogs. Again thank you so much. I think you have become part of my family, I listen to you more then anyone I know. Kacee