hi anonymousmax, i get it.  it's tough to break free of the bond you had.  it will fade and it will get smaller and smaller, but you'll need to do a few things. 1. continue to build the new with your spouse with reconnecting and repairing.  do some recovery work like the bootcamp on our site, or consider one of the courses or intensives.  2. shift your focus.  if you allow yourself to continue to dwell on the times with your affair partner, it will make it harder and harder.  when you're tempted to fixate on her, as quickly as you can, shift your focus towards something else like your kids, your work, something, anything that will shift your focus off the affair partner and on to that focal point.  it will help diminish the intensity of it all.  you have to do it quickly though or you'll be so far down the road that it will be harder to pull out of it.  4. consider doing this course on the site:  https://www.affairrecovery.com/product/hope-for-healing  it's exceptiona for the unfaithful spouse to gain new momentum in their own healing.