Some of the worst battles I've found myself in have been with my ego and self-shaming tendencies. I've learned, after countless sleepless nights and awful bouts of depression, that we cannot 'self-shame' our way into healing, restoration or wellness. Hating ourselves will never move us to a healthier place. We may lose weight. We may develop a healthy new habit or excel in the gym, but in terms of finding our more mentally and emotionally balanced selves, we will fail miserably. Believe me; I've tried and failed more times than I can count. Freedom is found through compassion and forgiveness, for ourselves and of course, those who have hurt us. The ego, while more obviously complicated for the unfaithful side to navigate, can also be agonizing for the betrayed spouse to wrestle through, in unexpected ways. The good news is, when we begin to understand this war, we can actually start to win, slowly but surely. When we identify where these self-shaming tactics originate from, we can disarm them and begin to identify ways we can overcome, find freedom and actually heal.