As the unfaithful, I am having a hard time managing my reactions and thoughts that are a result of the "backlash" I receive from my betrayed partner. Currently, he describes himself as "extremely angry & severely emotionally damaged". He tends to rage, lash out and lets me know that I at this point haven't changed and am still a "bad person". I tell myself not to take it personal, b/c this behavior if stemming from a place of hurt.

His spiteful comments (which he has the right to have and express) at times will get the best of me & as a result I will respond in defense and that leads to a "verbal sparring match"... he then will discredit all the progress I've made while in therapy and will insist that I haven't changed. This crushes me to the core, b/c I have in fact made progress however will fall short to triggers at times.

I'm developing a strategy to "self soothe" and recognize the "triggers" to keep me from reacting. However, I'm having an extremely difficult time maintaining my mental resilience. My partner has told me on multiple occasions that I'm going to have to "eat the crap that's served to me" and that I shouldn't spar with him to make him upset due to the subservient position I've put myself in.

Am I being insensitive to the damage I've caused and not wanting to "lie in the bed, I've made for myself"... or am I being overly sensitive to my partners comments regarding my progress and need to get thicker skin?