thank you. best way i could say it was Samantha was codependent, though she didn't know it and i had no clue. she was using me to provide security and affirmation without looking to herself. when i wasn't perfect or when i wasn't all she wanted and needed she would either attack me or she would pull away from me. she was putting me in the place of either God or Christ or (if you're not a believer) her own differentiation. she was dependent upon me to make her feel good, strong, healthy, etc, etc, but then, in a very weird way she would somewhat chastise me if i wasn't able to be who she wanted. it was very tough to navigate through. she would look to me for affirmation, then if i wasn't able to give what she thought she wanted or needed she would then deal very harshly with me. hope that makes sense to you and provides some insight.

thanks for the comment and for watching. i would say that I do believe we all have the opportunity to sober up, but it takes longer for some. not everyone does i dont think.....maybe later in life they come to realize a few things and see the light, though it may be too late with their spouse. i've seen it happen for sure. more times than not. i think people don't become self aware as they don't want to become self aware. if he, ie your spouse, is genuinely open to humility and seeing the light as they say and coming to a better place of humility and brokenness, then yes i do believe that chance awaits. if they simply are too prideful, stubborn, resistant and bitter, then perhaps they will not come to that point. i was faced with the opportunity to not humble myself and sober up, but i chose to embrace what was happening and listen to those that were in my life. i was a broken scared man. i was terrified of losing my kids and it was the very way my heart was crushed and caused me to humble myself, come clean and start life over. i hope that helps.