You Don’t Have to Decide Now So often, a spouse feels forced to make a decision right now on what to do. If you’re a betrayed spouse, it can feel like you need to know what to do right now. If you’re an unfaithful spouse, you can feel overwhelmed and pressured with thoughts of “this is what you need to do, right now.” As any of you know, once friends, family, and surrounding relationships find out about the situation, there is usually no shortage of people who are willing to give advice and tell you what to do. Everyone knows what they will do when infidelity happens, until it actually happens and kids are involved, ten or twenty years of marriage involved, futures are at stake and actual lives are in the balance. Then, what was a sure deal breaker is hesitantly reevaluated. I often tell people, you don’t have to decide right now. Recovery is a process and to borrow a line from John Maxwell, “The power is in the process.” As you get into a proven process you can then make a decision later, AFTER you’ve gotten the help and perspective you need. After all, it’s usually AFTER you have received insight, healing and expert perspective that you can typically see much more clearly than you can probably see right now. Hurt, pain, chaos and uncertainty are blinders in a big way. We just can’t see clearly sometimes, so to make a decision in the midst of the fog and in the midst of the uncertainty of it all can affect your life and your spouse and children’s lives beyond our current comprehension. Take the time and take the methods which are proven to start to formulate a decision. You don’t always have to decide right now, what to do. There is hope. Hope can come in an instant, but the process will evolve and will reveal the hearts of those involved. That, I assure you.
