Affair Recovery

While Samuel fights many self wars, Samantha, his betrayed spouse, does as well.  Today he addresses just one of Samantha's self wars.

Today Samuel provides follow up to his first self war blog. What is Your Self War? - Part 1

Soon after D-day I started keeping a journal. I needed a way to express myself without feeling I had to watch my words. I could vent about my husband without worrying about being cruel. Browsing through the entries I’m struck by the anguish I read in my words, words filled with raw emotion, gut wrenching pain, and the agonized ramblings of a broken heart. I use gutter language and expletives that would shock those who know me. I’m reminded how D-day turned me into someone I barely recognize. I never knew I was capable of such vile words. I’m shocked at how quickly I went from a controlled, confident and capable woman to one out of...

Have your dreams shattered?  Maybe old dreams need to shatter to give birth to new dreams for you in recovery from infidelity.

Samuel discusses what it means to fight your own self war through recovery from infidelity. Watch What is Your Self War? - Part 2

After discovering my husband's betrayal, he worked hard and did specific things that helped me heal and move forward in our recovery from infidelity.

Lynn is the author of Keep Walking, 40 Days to Hope and Freedom after Betrayal, a devotional for women dealing with the trauma and heartache of betrayal.

Samuel invites you into his own story of confrontation to paint a picture of what many spouses struggle with:  Perception in recovery.

Every time I walk into my counselor’s office he asks me, “What is God telling you?”  Last week I knew God was telling me that I needed to prioritize my own healing and the healing of my marriage.  This week, I feel God telling me, “Be brave.  You deserve to enjoy every aspect of the life I have given you.  You have to fight for it.  There are forces unseen working against you.” 

Currently, I am reading "A True Name” by Leslie Kim Wiese.  In our last session, my counselor asked me, “What is your new name in light of all the trauma you’ve endured?”  I prayed about it and the...

Samuel provides insight on methods to protect yourself as both a betrayed and unfaithful spouse.

Samuel uncovers a common fallacy in healing from infidelity.

Last year, instead of making a New Year’s resolution, I asked God what he wanted to accomplish in me over the year. I clearly felt like he was telling me my “theme” for the year would be “Let It Go.” I spent most of the first half of the year learning about limiting beliefs I had that were sabotaging my efforts toward being healthy both mentally and physically. I also learned that I spent most of my days trying to escape from my life. Instead of living in the moment, I lived hoping for a better future. Instead of taking care of myself, I focused on all of the things I wanted to change about myself and my life.

The year...

Samuel shares the lessons he learned the hard way about Samantha's journal and going deep in recovery.

Even before disclosure, I was really good at catastrophic thinking. I would hear a story and go to unimaginable places such as the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary. I cried for weeks because I imagined what it would be like if my own children were murdered mercilessly at school. It was almost too much to bear.

After disclosure, I often would think about the worst case scenarios such as, “What if my husband would have gotten caught? What if he was the next big news story?” I imagined how it would ruin our kids’ lives at school and how I would probably have to move to another state just to start over with a clean slate. Would I stay with him? Would I leave? Then, I would come back to reality and remember that God has only given me the strength to deal with the present. Futuristic...

Samuel discusses how to win in recovery from infidelity.