My husband revealed his infidelity to me about 20 days ago and this describes his feelings. He said that as soon as he told me a giant weight lifted from him and he finally felt free. He had been struggling for several weeks about going to our pastor and confessing and then bringing it to me. But before he got up the courage for that, an odd email he sent to himself (a romantic poem) triggered my questions at 2:00 in the morning. He told me very little then, but planned to tell me all the next day (and he did). He immediately contacted the AP that night to say it was done and he was going to tell me and then deleted his WhatsApp account so that she would not contact him. He has said he has no desire to contact her now, is sick to his stomach and embarrassed by his actions, and has contacted our pastor and several close friends and confessed to them how he hurt me. He’s doing the work and we’ve talked so intimately the last week that it feels like our once close friendship is returning. We‘ve neglected each other for a couple of years, both struggling with being empty nesters as our kids brought us such joy. We’ve been lost. I retreated to my secret hole and he retreated to the attentions of another. I’m the introvert and he’s the extrovert, so this is not surprising. We are committed to the work because we can’t envision a future without the other person in it. We want to grow old together.