I found photos of my husband's AP online. They are from 2.5 months after D-Day. She is frolicking on the beach with two girlfriends. She looks so happy, so carefree, so full of joy, she is literally jumping for joy in her bikini in one photo. How does she get to be so happy -- when she has destroyed my life? She has hurt my 3 small children, who have seen their traumatized mother cry every day for a year. She may have helped completely kill my marriage and destroy my children's family. And yet she is truly glowing with joy in her pictures. And she is wearing her wedding and engagement ring in the photos, while I haven't worn my engagement ring since last year February, when my husband told me he was going to leave me. How does she have any right to happiness? My husband was "manic" during their affair, so I think much more of the moral culpability for their affair rests at her feet. I have SO MUCH HATE in my heart for this woman. I have wished her dead. I hate this. I hate that she occupies so much space in my mind. What can I do to expunge her from my head and heart? I hate that my husband had "feelings of love" for this homewrecker. I just hate all of this so much.