Great video and information - I totally agree. However, some of us don't have a spouse to help us heal b/c they chose their AP. What about doing a video on recovering alone?

Samuel...love your videos and your perspective!

I really connect with your statement about the infidelity wound re-opening old wounds....very true in my case.

On another note, would you consider discussing the topic of slacking off of recovery? My unfaithful husband seems to think that since we are several months into recover and things appear to be getting better, which is true, that the work isn't yet done. He seems in perpetual fear of rocking the boat or upsetting me and wants the "calm waters" to continue and ignore doing recovery. As long as I don't bring it up, he thinks all is fine. Then when I do get triggered or upset, it's the end of the world and I'm taking us back to square one. It's not that, it's because he won't continue the recovery work and addressing the tough issues to achieve resolution. It seems that any progress we've made is obliterated and goes to thinking that I want a divorce. And, he often says, "Doesn't anything I've done count for anything?" when I bring us something that is bothering me.

Thank you sharing your experience and perspectives!