I am 15 months from disclosure, but 12 years after my husband's year long affair. He denied it for more than a decade despite my suspicions. I think I have all the information and we are much closer and connected than we have ever been. He is fully remorseful and has great empathy and understanding of the impact as well as the factors that led him to have the affair. We attended EMS Weekend and I completed Harboring Hope. My question is whether I can reasonably expect to ever be able to look back at the year he was betraying me and see our memories together as anything but tainted or fake? Vacations, holidays, our children’s milestones, etc, all seem hollow to me. He states he loved me during his affair and these events were special to him. I have a hard time believing that. I used to cherish our family photos and home movies but I can't even look at them from this period of time, including the only professional family photo we ever had taken, that was on display for years until I learned the truth. Seeing it now makes me feel like such a sucker. Will this get better?