Welcome

As past participants, we want our walks through infidelity to bring hope, inspiration, and courage to your own journey.
, 5 years 5 months ago
affair recovery-survivors Blog-Elizabeth-One-of-the-Biggest-Myths-About-Unfaithful-Wives-i cannot say i had an affair because i wanted to leave our marriage the truth is i was unfaithful because i am broke and sinful i am selfish

Research shows that there is a growing number of unfaithful women. Exact numbers are hard to come by, and I expect that will always be the case. If unfaithful spouses are lying, why would they be honest in research? Regardless, I think we can all learn qualitatively. And I feel called to put a voice behind the myths and questions out there.

One...

, 5 years 5 months ago

Samuel reveals and discusses one of the biggest killers of momentum and intimacy in both recovery work and marriage.

, 5 years 5 months ago

Samuel answers a viewers question and sheds light on a sensitive topic.

, 5 years 5 months ago

Samuel discusses denial in repair work and how it damages both spouses.

, 5 years 5 months ago

Samuel shares insight into what a process looks like when healing from infidelity.

, 5 years 5 months ago

"Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money, the $#!* has Hit the Fan"
Warren Zevon

As a Christian, I always understood marriage to be a biblical union of two people, a part of God's plan for companionship as first illustrated in the Garden of Eden. Common text book definitions note a union of two people or a combination of two or more elements. While its roots are biblical, our society recognizes it as an institution, inherent with legal rights and responsibilities.

As we all know, healing and reconciliation in this arena takes significant time and work. The problem is, the legal system we use to institutionalize marriage does not give incentive to allow time to "wait...

, 5 years 5 months ago
affairrecovery-survivors-blog-elizabeth-i hope that where ever you find yourself today, you are working towards acceptance

Last night we were attending church. If you are not a church goer, no judgement here. The number of times I set foot inside a church before I turned 25 was few and far between. Church can be such a healing place for many, yet such a triggering place for others. Throughout my own life I have seen so many good things done by the church. I have also witnessed the very worst of humanity inside the supposed church walls. However, I still believe in the church simply because I choose...

, 5 years 5 months ago

Samuel shares more of his own story and how rushing Samantha never worked.

, 5 years 5 months ago

Samuel answers a viewers question about still communicating with an affair partner after the affair is over.

, 5 years 5 months ago

Samuel shares a key recovery tool for his own healing and a relapse prevention tool.

, 5 years 5 months ago

Samuel answers a viewers question and shares insight into when it's time to focus on your own recovery

, 5 years 5 months ago

Samuel discusses trying to control our spouse's reactions to infidelity and repair work.

, 5 years 6 months ago
affairrecovery-survivors Blog-Elizabeth-Roots-Part-2-the stories that remain untold are the ones that remain a stronghold

The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
A puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
Not as they pretend to be.
Jeremiah 17:9-10

Roots: Part 1

Remember those shallow roots we are...

, 5 years 6 months ago

Samuel uses a well known parable to illustrate what it takes to heal from betrayal.

, 5 years 6 months ago

Samuel shares a hopeful message of how to not give up on your own healing.

, 5 years 6 months ago
affairrecovery-survivors Blog-Elizabeth-Roots-Pt-1-keep pursuing the endeavors that will deepen your roots

But blessed is the one who trusts in Me alone;
the Eternal will be his confidence.
He is like a tree planted by water,
sending out its roots beside the stream.
It does not fear the heat or even drought.
Its leaves stay green and its fruit is dependable, no matter what it faces.
Jeremiah 17:7-8

My roots have been shallow. . .

We live on...

, 5 years 6 months ago

Samuel shares a pivotal mistake unfaithful spouses make in recovery work.

, 5 years 6 months ago

Samuel shares insight into a common struggle for couples in recovery.

, 5 years 6 months ago
affairrecovery -survivors blog-elizabeth-be careful not to judge someones character by the pain they are in--Why-the-Unfaithful-Fears-the-Betrayed

To betrayed spouses everywhere: other than the obvious apology that is owed to you for the injustice thrown upon you due to infidelity, I have yet another confession to offer to you.

I am embarrassed to say how deep my fears, insecurities and shame have reached. For much of my recovery (for most of the first year anyway), I have been afraid of you. I have feared your pain, your emotion, your comments and your rawness of emotion. I know...

, 5 years 6 months ago

Samuel discusses what happens when betrayed spouses consider forgiving their spouse too early in recovery.

, 5 years 6 months ago

Samuel shares insight into how both spouses can heal after infidelity.

, 5 years 6 months ago

Samuel shares pivotal insight surrounding the need for the right process in recovering from infidelity.

, 5 years 6 months ago

Samuel discusses denial and it's effects upon those in crisis.

, 5 years 7 months ago
affair recovery-survivors blog-chase-ramblings-if i am to sruvive, then i have to keep facing the darkness head on, and refuse to succumb to the temptation to try and sweep it away

Two years ago, I had my first d day. Wow, how my life has changed since. I find myself fighting darkness again lately. Perhaps it's the anniversary, perhaps its fatigue, perhaps it's a little bit of a lot of things… so I write to clear my head. This blog is simply the ramblings of a betrayed man in the weeds.

We recently moved. Some events in my working life late last year instigated a domino effect that resulted in my...

, 5 years 7 months ago
survivors Blog-Elizabeth-Sadness-one of the things i have found to be true about the walk of recovery from infidelity, is the longer i walk, the less i know. and the less i know, the more i feel.

One of the things I have found to be true about the walk of recovery from infidelity, is the longer I walk, the less I know. And the less I know, the more I feel.

The feeling that has overwhelmed me of late is one of pretty intense sadness. It seems I feel sorrow in every bone and fiber within me. I feel it deeply, and it feels like a dam around my heart that can break loose at any moment. When I look at my...

, 5 years 7 months ago

Samuel shares the truth behind the statement: if you loved me you would have never cheated on me.

, 5 years 7 months ago
survivors Blog-Elizabeth-Thoughts-on-Marriage-what i actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered

Today I wanted to share something that happened in my office that was incredibly moving to me. At work, we get to see people of all ages and ailments. Whatever your profession is, have you ever had a moment when someone walks in your door and you quickly realize (even though you are the so called professional) that you are the one about to learn?

This morning, that was me. An 84 year old woman I had been helping came in. Her daughter usually drives her, because she...

, 5 years 7 months ago

Samuel shares what remorse sounds and looks like for those in crisis.

, 5 years 7 months ago

Samuel discusses misunderstanding, defensiveness and accusation.

, 5 years 7 months ago

Samuel helps those who feel stuck in their recovery.

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