Affair Recovery

My aunt was radiantly beautiful in colored head scarves and rocked GI Jane length hair throughout the three years of her battle with cancer. She remained joyful and full of life, even in the midst of multiple rounds of treatment. When she was unable to travel to a family gathering last fall, I missed her, but simply assumed this was just one more round of chemo, and I’d see her again. That did not happen.

When she passed, I remember wondering why I had not even considered the fact that this...

I sat in the therapist's office for the first time after my husband finally confessed his affair. I wasn’t sure what I was doing. Surely I did not belong here, did I?

She introduced herself, we had some preliminary conversation, and I told her my story. I didn’t know what people actually did following betrayal, but I knew I needed help and I needed it now. The pain I was experiencing was excruciating and I could barely move through the day. My head was spinning...

Four years ago, I discovered my husband wasn’t who I thought he was. When he left the house, he didn’t secretly fight crime or possess any cool superpowers. Instead, he had lived a double life for over a decade.

I heard my parent’s generation speak about where they were when they learned that President Kennedy had been shot. Everyone remembers where...

Join Rodney and Angela for an uncut heartfelt, free-flowing finale of Season 2. In this special episode, they extend their deep gratitude to everyone who made this journey possible: the dedicated crew, the supportive audience, and last but not least, each other. Reflecting on their growth and lessons learned over the past two seasons, they revisit...

In His presence there is peace, freedom, and comfort. Rodney and Angela remind us that we have the privilege and freedom to bring all of our emotions to God, including the difficult ones. He is a faithful friend, fierce warrior, and compassionate counselor, and though what we face may not seem good, He is always working for our good. His mercies...

I’m Karen Baker, a graduate counseling intern for Crossroad Counseling Associate, supervised by Rick Reynolds.

In this video, I'll lead you through a short, guided meditation on compassion specifically for anxiety. Opening our hearts by practicing self-compassion and compassion for others can help us accept and give space to...

My name is Karen Baker, and I'm the graduate counseling intern at Crossroad Counseling and Associates, where I am supervised by Rick Reynolds.

In this video, I will lead you through a short, guided meditation. Experiencing a betrayal is a profoundly traumatic experience. Your whole self can become completely...

To Tell or Not to Tell…Our Friends and Family

People struggle with the decision of whether to tell friends and family and, particularly their children, about the infidelity that occurred in their marriage. For some, the ugly truth comes out before they consider it. Sometimes, kids are collateral damage in the ensuing chaos, overhearing or directly witnessing the arguments and drama by parents overwhelmed with their emotions.

I’ve heard both sides of this dilemma declare with certainty that their perspective is the only right choice for one reason or another, but I’ve also heard people regret how they handled it and wish they could go back and do it differently. Some feel it is inherently wrong and deceptive to keep a secret like this within a...

As I first ventured into the world of betrayal recovery, I listened to several experts advise against asking too many questions and getting too many details about their spouse’s betrayal. They cautioned that the details can be damaging and cause lingering intrusive thoughts. The predominant advice is to stick to the basic information of timeframe and generic summary of events but otherwise to steer clear of anything that could be considered a question related to comparison, like physical appearance, body type, specific sexual experiences, etc. The advice was that these things don’t serve to promote healing, and it is better to keep them unknown. (A list of suggested questions to consider asking instead can be found here.)

Not asking for details is very...

Hi. My name is Rachel. Infidelity not only impacts our relationship with our partners, but it also affects the relationship we have with ourselves, as we're grappling with a new reality that we didn't expect or ask for.

We may also notice some negative messages, words, thoughts, and beliefs about ourselves. This inner bullying voice...

Hi. My name's Karen Baker, and I'm the graduate counseling intern at Crossroad Counseling Associates, being supervised by Rick Reynolds. Experiencing betrayal trauma is incredibly jarring. Your whole system becomes dysregulated and flooded at a moment's notice. In this video, I'm going to lead you through a short, guided meditation to help you come back to...

Hi. My name is Karen Baker, and I'm the graduate counseling intern for Crossroad Counseling Associates, being supervised by Rick Reynolds. Experiencing infertility is an incredibly jarring experience, and that's why we call it betrayal trauma. In a previous video, I discussed why and how we become dysregulated, as well as the importance of...

Hello, Kristin S. here. If you're watching this video, it means that you've experienced infidelity in some way in your life. You've either discovered that your partner has cheated on you, or maybe you have been unfaithful to your partner.

No matter which side of this equation that you're on, it's likely that you can appreciate how entirely lonely this...

Hello. This is Kristin. As an unfaithful spouse, one may argue that the shame I experienced post affair was expected, while unhelpful to my healing. One would expect that I would be feeling shame, guilt after what happened. I had betrayed the trust of my spouse, of my family, my friends, and maybe most importantly, myself. This type...