I recently found out my husband of 9 years has had an online chat addiction since high school, and he has met up a couple times with someone he met online. I love my husband so much, I never in my wildest dreams would have thought this would be an issue in my marriage. I know God is for me, and He is with me, He can make good of all things, but this is so hard! I would like to take this online course to help me deal with my emotions, get support, and move forward in life.

I would love to get on the right path through this program.

It’s been 2 years since I found out that my husband had a secret sex life and that our life together was a lie. It’s been 2 years of trying to heal to no avail. Although my husband has sought therapy, is in “sobriety” and getting healthy and happy, he still gives me no empathy and it’s actually getting worse the further he gets into treatment. The roles seemed to have been reversed and I am now scrutinized by therapists who say I’m not “doing to work” to heal. I literally live with my trauma (him) and he helps disregulate me. I can not be the happy, present mother to my 2 small children. They have been exposed to such an unhealthy example of marriage and the guilt is killing me. I am just existing in life, trying to work and attend church all while wearing a mask and pretending that everything is ok. I don’t want my children to be traumatized by divorce, but I know I can’t live this way and we deserve so much more. I pray that this is the hope and support I have been seeking. Thank you.

It’s hard to put into words what one goes through when betrayed. They say that if the relationship partners can learn from it, that they often grow from it. That often times, that mistake turns to a lesson in turn turns to a better, stronger and happier relationship if/when the healing process takes place. My question is- WHEN?? When does the healing begin and the pain start to go away? How do I trust the one I loved after being wounded like this? After being betrayed several times in my first marriage, I found the courage to walk away as things just kept getting swept under the rug. Then I met the love of my life and felt I could open up and be the real me again. After telling our past to one another, we swore to never hurt one another and if it came to that, than we would be honest and tell the other first. After discovering the betrayal nearly a year ago and no real discussion or plan of action being followed through upon, it’s time I start to focus and heal myself until she or we or even I decide what life has in store for the future. With so many emotions and feelings racing through the soul, it’s no wonder my heart and mind are at war 24/7. How does one foresee the future and know what they want when one is constantly being triggered or flooding with thoughts from good to bad with in a nano second ? What causes these triggers and dark worse case scenario thoughts? How do I deal with them and try to rebuild who I am and what I truly want/need in life if seems like I can’t even build up the courage to tell her how I feel or what’s going on inside of me? I need to heal, I want to heal! Not for her, but for myself, because I deserve the best me, the real me!!

Hello! I'm hoping this group can help with understanding and processing the emotional ups and downs I've experienced in the last two years. I've caught my husband multiple times in physical and/or emotional affairs. This last time, two weeks ago, was the last straw. I wonder if he ever really loved me and I wonder what is wrong with me that I allowed this to happen for so long? I just can't seem to understand this, and the trauma has made it difficult to see things clearly on my own. My network of otherwise loving and supportive people are so tired of me taking him back, and I'm ashamed anembarrassed and tired of the "I told you so" comments. I could use the support of others. Thanks for your consideration.

I want to heal for me. My husband had an affair with a coworker and while I want to reconcile , he is unsure. I want to take this class for my own healing and my own self compassion. I believe God can heal the brokenness I feel and that he wants me to individually work on myself.

As I am writing this, my mate and I are over a year past D-day. Though I have to say that D-day was not one day, but rather streched over a couple of months as it took my unfaithful a long time to write his full disclosure. His confession surrounded his pornography use, inappropriate behaviour with other women in his life (pimping tenderness and lustful fantasies), constant objectification and sexualization of women and intensely critical views of my appearance. So basically he glorified every woman he saw, seeminlgy wanting to be with every one of them, while simultaniously tearing me down in his mind. He also had a drug problem for the first year of our relatioship which created severe dammage as well.
My unfaithful mate has always had problems with empathy and being reliable. Now that he has trouble apologizing for the things he has done to me or acknowledging the pain his infidelity and carelessness have created, I am feeling extremely alone. He keeps questioning if the things I need to feel safe are really necessary and if I am judging his behaviors (objectification) too harshly. He also struggles with keeping his word and consistetly following through on creating safety for me. He can't say he loves me or wants to be with me. After more than one year of fighting with him, trying to make him get it and suffering from the emotional turmoil of triggers and reminders, I need some guidance and some well-meaning company. I don't want to keep feeling so lost and uncertain. I want a process to help me work through my pain and disappointment and trauma.

I keep flooding because I feel so unsafe in conversations with my mate and this emotional pain turns me into a person I don't want to be.
I would love to take the harporing hope course because I want my own process instead of waiting for my mate to be healed enough to help me. I also want to take the course because I really wish to talk to people who are in the same place as me, people who get it and who won't judge me for staying this long. I want to understand myself better and become the partner I seem to need so much.

We want to believe all the stories of redemption. We want to see redemption. We need help

I am the wayward spouse.

I’d like to enter. My husband and I have been married for 20 years. Sprinkled throughout has been multiple instances of emotional affairs, one physical (I know of), sexting and also cheating before we married. We’ve been working through it and things are better but with so many painful betrayals it’s hard to heal. We signed up for the couples therapy with AR but had a family tragedy and baby born that delayed it and it’s been hard to start.

I found out about my husband’s affair from his mistress’ husband. Sitting at my desk at work when I received a text that said, ‘your husband has been sleeping with my wife for over a year’
Of course it couldn’t be true - he was always home. My hardworking husband who was so committed to his family business was leaving work during the day to meet her.
What makes it worse is that it was with the woman i hired to clean our house. She came into my home every other week for 3 years. She befriended my teenage daughter and my mother. We considered her a family friend. Everywhere I look in my home I think of her. She touched every surface. I want to move.
This started at the beginning of the COVID closure following the murder/suiicide of my ex husband, my daughter’s father, and his troubled son. So when I needed my husband the most, he turned away from his family and betrayed me.
I am stuck. I can’t get these thoughts out of my head.
It has been 4 months and i am still crying every day. He is not showing much remorse but says he loves me and wants us to work it out. Four months of therapy has not provided relief. The color has drained from my life and i wonder if i will ever be happy again

I'm so lost. I'm in love with my husband but it hurts so much that most days I wish I hated him so I could leave. I want my family to stay together. I want the 6 years back that were stolen from me. I want to not be mad every moment of my life. I can't believe I'm capable of the thoughts I have about what I want to do to his AP. And that makes me even more made at him because I have lost myself. I feel like I'm ruined. I'm not happy, bubbly, or naive enough to believe that people are inherently good anymore. I'm bitter. And I wonder if I will ever think what he did is forgivable. I hate that I view the world this way now but I can't seem to see it any other way regardless of the amount of therapy, brain retraining, hypnosis, and other modalities that I try. I want to be me again. I want to be happy. I want to smile. I want to want to get out of bed in the morning.

18 years ago I was unmarried and unexpectedly got pregnant. As I tried to tell the father, I was met with rejection. A few weeks later when he found out, we decided to give it a go. Within a year, our first born was gone. 2 yrs later we got married and 4 yrs later we had another child. Now 15 yrs after marriage, my husband left and is/was having an affair. I don’t think it’s his first one. I am devastated. My defense mechanism has been to not speak or see him in person. All communication is through email or lawyers. I know he is unhealthy and is justifying his actions and blaming me. I am seeing a counselor but how do I get him the help and why do I want to help him. He’s defense mechanism is avoidance and blame the other person. I have watched him do it to family over the years. I just need help healing myself-and figuring out how to help him regardless of our situation and outcome

It has been 1 1/2 almost since I found the text to a 31 year old escort. It was only the beginning of the betrayal I found on his phone. 13 prostitutes 23 times, to my knowledge, thousands of dollars later. We were married 35 years then. I am still working through the holocaust of my life. I am still working on this with him with counseling , but I know I have severe PTS so bad ! I know I am detaching emotionally to survive. I need support from all of you and this course to survive this. Please help

We have been married for almost 40 years and whilst my husband doesn’t have affairs he uses escorts to cover up his pain things go wrong. It happened more in our earlier marriage and with two very young children and no way to support my self I stayed in the marriage. I guess I had a fear of being on my own. Also we always manage to get through the situation and move through. Apart from this we had a great marriage he was always thoughtful and loving and true to our children. Take this behaviours out of the picture and we had a great life. Then it would happen again, there were always large Gaps between his falls. As we were always able to come out from this rubble I continued to stay in the marriage and as the children grew I didn’t know how to leave, I didn’t want them to know what he had done. Again we would work through it all and move on. At one point it began again and it happened on a very regular basis. I did leave for a short time he got help and his behaviour was recognised as an addiction, he had a lot of councelling and lots of things things from his childhood came to light, he was sexually abused among other things, he everything into recovering and marriage moved forward. Though he still couldn’t completely heal. It happened again and he was able to recognised his triggers. He worked deeply with God but he battle and succeed regularly, he felt he was getting stronger fighting this. But every year or two there would be a fall. Maybe I became desensitised, I’m not sure. I often wonder where would I be if I had left him in the beginning. We have spent the last years tracking really well. But it has happened again and we were directed to Affair Recovery by a couple who have completed the courses. He really wants to know why he dies what he does he has done so much work with God and wants this pulled out by the root, he hates what he does and hates that he works so hard with God to resist the temptation only to fall again. As for me I don’t know if I can do this anymore, I feel numb and don’t know what to do after all these years.

My husband and I were together for nine years when I found that he had been having a secret relationship with his former high school girl. He had been talking to her every day after dropping our daughter at school and while I was working. He went into business with her in addition to having the affair. I thought that I could handle it if we just confronted everything honestly, but he could not leave the AP alone and vice-versa. The lies continued for months until I told him to get out or quit, demanded counseling, etc. While he went through the motions, it seemed that the anger and resentment from him kept coming out in other ways. I was the one who was responsible for all of his unhappiness. After just a few months of counseling, he was done with it and wanted to take a break from it. Three months later, I found that he was back in contact with the AP and finally learned that he was viewing porn 3-4 times a day most days, even on breaks from work. The last fight was awful and the only I could continue to live was to separate. I still held onto hope that he would take some positive steps to seek help for himself and some evidence that he loved us as he said he did. I have been doing my best to recover and take care of my daughter. He immediately went back to the AP. Regular therapy does not really seem to help with the grief. I have come to understand that I most likely will be moving on by myself which is not what I wanted, but I want to return to my happy, healthy self, full of love, light, and joy. The grief is like nothing I have experienced before and this is the only place that offers the help that seems to heal my heart.

We went through a couple of consolers and we were never able to reconcile. After 10 years we split up. Advice I would give to anyone in this situation is spend whatever you have to , to get the best treatment. anything else is foolish.

I would love to get help for my husband. In 2020, I had an affair and ended it when I couldn’t be that kind of person anymore. Months later, I told my husband. He basically deals with PTSD symptoms daily and I hate seeing him in this kind of pain. I want us to begin a new chapter with complete transparency. I have changed the way I interact with everyone but it may take him a long time to see or even look for the signs that I am a faithful wife and will continue learning how to be a better person.
I would do anything to have a new version of my marriage back. We became best friends after I ended it and put that attention and effort where it belonged. My husband has his own demons but I would never want to spend my life with anyone else. I want my best friend. I want to be a wife he can be proud of. I want that for us and my son. He deserves parents that love and respect one another and are great examples of a happy marriage. He deserves to see us both everyday and not have a broken home. My husband loves me but needs help with forgiving me and trusting me again.

Married 24 years last year. Thought he learned from his indiscretion during year seven. This time it’s different. It’s Midlife with all of its monstrous tides. This time he tearing apart the kids too. He won’t commit to anything. He’s afraid he’s going to die soon. He can’t see how much he’s hurting us.

I’ve been a homemaker for 20 years. Please help. I don’t think my strength is going to last.

My name is Apryll and I’m interested in the Harboring Hope course. My husband and I have been married just shy of 14 years. The marriage had been rocky lately and we separated, with him moving to another state due to work. After a few months, I swallowed my pride and confided in him that I wanted to save the marriage and fix the ways in which I contributed to the downfall of the marriage. Shortly after we began to reconcile, he disclosed that during the separation he had slept with multiple women. To say I feel devastated doesn’t even begin to explain the depth of my feelings. I have tried to explain my thoughts and feelings to my husband but he just doesn’t seem to get it. He literally told me that I’m not blameless in this situation. I really feel like he is minimizing the hurt I feel. I don’t know where else to turn.

This started me on my mission to understand myself, my relationship with God, and whether this marriage is something that can be saved. In watching YouTube videos I ran across the Affair Recovery channel and the videos really resonated with me. That led me to the website where I saw the courses. I would like to start my journey of healing. I want something that is faith-based and challenging. This course appears to fit the bill. I look forward to learning and growing.

My husband and I completed EMS). I would like to take Harboring hope because I need to work on my own healing. I feel stuck in pain and feel that this course could help move me in the right direction.

I’ve been married 11 years and we have 1 child of our own and 4 stepchildren from other relationships. I want to gain hope in this marriage that seems hopeless. The infidelity happened 1 year after our marriage and I even mistakenly agreed to have other people in our relationship in an attempt to try and heal it but it only caused more damage. I found out 5 months ago that my husband was trying to have sex with random women on a dating app for over year. He said he only met one woman and from the conversations I saw it didn’t seem like he had much luck trying to get sex from these women. He did all this while we were attending marriage re-engage at church. I feel sickened by this and I can’t trust him and on top of everything else I’m so numb to this relationship. Like I really could care less about him. I hate that I feel this way. I feel like I have no love for him anymore. This is the 4 time that I’ve known of that he’s strayed and wanted to be with another woman behind my back.

My D day was Jan 7th and my story is very different than most that’s why I’m contemplating taking this course. It’s very hard for me to find support for my situation, I find in almost every affair situation either the offending spouse leaves for the affair partner and continues the affair or they stay and fight to reconcile. In my case, my husband left us and also left her. I’m dealing with extreme abandonment and confusion. It’s been 3 1/2 months now with no end in sight. I need all the help I can get.

I would loved to meet other women in this journey of recovery. It's been a long road for me and I am so tired....

We have been married for 47 years last August. When we had been married 15 years or so my husband had and affair with a co-worker. Then a couple of months later had a one night stand with a girl he just met that day at the jewelry counter, (he said he was looking for jewelry for me. )
For the next 35 or so years he hid the affair and one night stand from me. He confessed to me May of 2020. He had put it behind him, tried to forget it and felt God has forgiven him, he has moved forward and It tears him up anytime I bring it up/. I have been in shock and then depression and still after 2 years I still feel like I am in a pool of confusion and despair. He is loving and kind and has been faithful, the last 35 years. I still have a hard time thinking I have been deceived the last 35 years. This husband I trusted all these years betrayed me. I want to get out of this cycle and move forward. I don't know what to do.

My wife and I separated for a period of time, but the commitment was always that we would continue to work on our marriage. During that period of time because we had had contention in our relationship about my daughters from a previous marriage it continued to be an issue. When I became a full-time father for a period of time my wife pretty much checked out. I found out via phone records that she was having an affair with her former best friend's husband.

I have tried so hard during this process to be forgiving and to show grace. And everyone including her has said that I've been extremely gracious, but recently I find this anger creeping up. And hopelessness as it relates to my daughters. She's re-engaged with them in a virtual level via text and and the occasional zoom call but we're 6 months into the process and it's been almost 2 years since they've seen her face to face and I'm losing hope. The girls were a point of contention during the relationship because she had never been a mom and in hard situations would always choose her needs and desires over theirs. So I'm just wondering at this point whether there's real hope for full restoration. My kids have been through ridiculous trauma as it relates to their bio mom and I just can't keep subjecting them to these broken relationships.

My greatest desire to see it all work out. I don't have a whole lot of Hope at this point. And little arguments seem to be getting blown up. I just don't want to live with this anger and resentment. I've been working with a fantastic counselor and multiple prayer teams. And yet this anger creeps up out of nowhere. I started a new job 5 days after I found out about the affair and that has been a challenge and impacted me as well because my performance has not been good at all as we've been going through this. I'm just tired and I want to have some moments of joy I don't feel anything brings me joy anymore. The name of the course is significant to me because I don't feel like I have much hope. I've tried not to involve people that can't carry the weight of this with me so that I don't have people speaking death into our marriage. But I don't have a real big support group to try and go through this with.

Found out a month ago and husband can't tell me why. He knows that I need to move past his affair with his sugar baby. He's not happy and I feel like I lost him. He doesn't resemble the man I married. He loves her, but she is married. They have been together for three years. He cheated in plain sight. The cell phone bills. I never checked them. I paid them. I never had a reason to review them. When confronted, he said he believed that the relationship would fizzle out and no one would ever know. I asked him which relationship he was referring to. I know now, that it's me and I should act my age and move forward. He wants to leave. He won't go on his own, which I don't understand? He wants me to throw him out. How many hints about moving out, do I take action? I'm so confused and sad. He's no longer emotionally attached to me or our marriage, but I keep telling him that it's worth it. I can tell. He's given me every reason why he wants to leave me, and our marriage. I feel like he is going through the motions of counseling. He is just no longer interested in me and is ready to go. I'm making it worse because I asked questions, he cares not to answer. I am to give him space so he can decide if he can love me again. I'm not sure what to do except decide to stay married each day and pray for him and for me. He does not know why he decided to move through his affair, but he is hoping that counseling will help him get a better understanding of his decisions. I'm in the holding pattern, and after three years with someone else, and feel like I am being re-interviewed for my place in his marriage. I can't compete with her because she is 10 years younger and far prettier then I will ever be. He still wants her. I am alone.

I am seeking my chrysalis - my chance to not just rediscover who I was but to transform into who I can be healed and whole. To not just find my identity again, but to build on that identity by healing from hurtful words that cut me to the quick, made me think I was crazy (gaslighting), beat down my self-esteen and sense of self. Who was I? Who am I? Who can I be healed and whole? Please, help me to answer these questions. Thank you for the opportunity.

I found out about my spouse's infidelity, and we have been on an emotional roller coastal ride ever since. I forgave him and we worked hard for the first 2 weeks but then he admitted he was still in love with the mistress. He left to be with her at the same time asking me if he decided to come back to the marriage, would I accept him. I was able to contact the woman's husband and then things got real. The husband contacted my spouse and said to stop all communication, so my husband decided to come back. He walked out on our family for good but now he walks to try to make things work. My kids are hurting, and I feel like I am his second choice. I gave him so many opportunities and he dashed them all to run to his fantasy world. All trust is broken, and I am at a loss. The women kept emailing him wanting to talk. He shared one email with me and I gave a definite "no" response. the second email he hid from me because he said he was afraid it would upset me. I need some guidance and I thought this 13 week course would help me get back on track. I need to harbor hope rather than pain and betrayal. I am throwing my hat in the ring for this drawing.

My husband and I were middle school sweethearts. Needless to say no one really believes such relationships can last. But 14 years later I am grasping for hope. We became pregnant at a young age and split after our son turned a year old. We were young and both from broken homes. After 4 years we finally decided to give it another try and married shortly after. But now, nearly 7 years later, I find out he has been unfaithful for the 2nd time in our marriage. From a very young age I battled with depression and low self esteem. This time it happened all mean while I was pregnant with out 3rd child. Needless to say THAT was the last drop. I moved out along with our 2 children and 10 days away from having our third. Additionally, I had found out he had a pregnancy scare with the women he was involved with. I was sure I wanted nothing with him ever again. But When I realized she was in fact not pregnant I begin to think maybe just maybe there is a chance. But it’s been 2 months. Our son was born and we have been living at my mothers home. And everyday I wake up thinking today might be the day he does something extraordinary to win us back. He says he wants to reconcile. But all I see is him being comfortable with his lifestyle now. I left to not be half a person. To try and be present for my children. But each day I find myself having a little less hope. And a little more broken. I know it’s all part of the pain. All I know is that I can only work on me. So if that means working everyday to loving myself I need to do that. If that means working everyday to be ready for the truth and the whole truth then I need to prepare my heart. If that means I have to work on knowing I can truly forgive him then I must do that! But if that also means accepting he only speaks words and not actions then I still want to be able to look back one day and see I healed for my babies I must do that as well!

My D day was February 17, 2020. It was a trickle D-Day situation with many more to come over the last two years. My husband and I have been in marriage counseling since the last week of February 2020. It was either get help or boy it’s going to be over with. I have watched my husband become sober and his recovery month by month. I still have tremendous problems with triggers and intrusive thoughts. We will celebrate our 40 year at wedding anniversary this year. We have never been separated in all the years that we’ve been married. But he has had a sex addiction the entire time undiagnosed. I look for every way possible to improve our marriage, our individuality, our couples ship. A fair recovery was the first place I turned to when my world became destroyed. We watch your videos weekly at our recovery share in that we have together. It is opened the conversation up Between us in so many different ways. We love Samuel and Rick and Wayne! I feel like there are friends and family. I would love the opportunity to win this free course for us.